Albert Einstein said, “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” Nature often provides us with calm and beauty at times of distress or discomfort. Jason Ward, an American naturalist and birder, wrote “Birds have always had the ability to bring me out of a dark space and provide relief in bad times.”
Nature has lots to teach us. Nature demonstrates the concepts of cooperation and collaboration. Some birds have complex means of cooperation and collaboration to protect against predators, to find food, to build nests, and to protect their young.
Starlings are known for murmuration. What is murmuration? It is when large groups of birds gather together and move together in a mass. They are able to copy each other’s behaviors, so that the entire flock can move as one. It is not clear why some birds use murmuration. There are all sorts of theories – heat, protection from predators, lessening of individual risk, or sharing of information.
What does this have to do with divorce? When negotiating a divorce settlement, getting over that finish line to reach agreement requires the parties to eventually “move as one.” Settlement negotiations, like murmuration, are a series of twists and turns taken by the parties – only when they “move as one” do they come to mutual resolution.
Like the starlings and the mysteries of murmuration, there are many theories about what it takes for divorcing couples to get to agreement. However, experience tells us that settlement by agreement requires the ability to cooperate and collaborate despite the pain, anger and grief accompanying divorce. If parties come to the negotiation table with the intentionality to transcend conflict and find a mutually agreeable result through cooperation and collaboration, they can come to a mutually beneficial divorce agreement and feel more “as one”.
The picture painted in the sky by starlings during murmuration can take many forms, just as settlement negotiations in divorce can lead to different outcomes. Collaboration and cooperation, however, are the common thread. That’s what birds have to do with it.
For a path forward and a new beginning, contact us to learn how settlement counsel, mediation and Collaborative Law can benefit you.